I have met my husband... - Kruszer's Journal
I have met my husband...|
|Date:||December 19th, 2008 05:30 am (UTC)|| |
And part 3 of ridiculously long response...
So what am I scared of? Why am I hesitating? Why am I so afraid that I'll lose his heart or be unable to love him to the same degree? I'd stopped expecting I'd ever find someone like him, and now that I have, am I normal to be feeling a little off, in light of such an incredible relationship?
I think you're scared because you HAVE been hurt before and because vulnerability is VERY scary. There could also be some hesitation because he hasn't given you any specific timeline regarding his feelings. It's wonderful to hear that he intends to ask for your hand, but when is "someday"? It sounds to me like he's giving slightly mixed signals in that he is telling you one thing (e.g. "I'm not ready for a relationship right now"), and he is acting another way (e.g. as if you're entering a relationship right now). I know you don't want to push him, and this getting to know one another period is very important. However, if you feel at all like you're getting mixed signals and that they are making you feel unsure, I don't think it's wrong of you to ask him for clarification ("What's going on here?"). You deserve to know if there's real muscle behind his statements of "someday" or if they are just romantic, flowery words borne out of strong feelings. I think you're right to be cautious, but if you have prayed about it and really feel that God has brought you into each other's lives, don't doubt it. Most of the concerns you have mentioned will not matter much in the long term if God is the center of your relationship. :)
Okay...now that I've written a tome, I will say again that I am REALLY excited for you and can't wait to hear how this friendship continues to develop. You deserve to be happy.